Feel Like Makin'....

Now, keep in mind it's been an awfully long time for me, so I could very well be romanticising a bit. But if memory serves, sex is the one thing you can do for the first time over and over again. It still amazes me how new it can be, regardless of how new your partner is. I'm not talking about the Kama Sutra, 'let's see how bendy you are' kind of sex. And neither is this about constantly changing partners, 'how to please your man so he won't leave you' sex, or anything instructional. Because believe me, ask around, you don't want instruction from me. It's about experiencing something oh-so-familiar in a different way.
1. The first time you have sex with someone you know you love. Even if you haven't told them yet, even if it's a delicious secret in a pocket of your heart that you're not ready to share, it changes the way you touch. And changes the way you want to be touched.
2. The last time you have sex with someone you loved. It's terrible, and sad, and over. You both probably already know, or at least one of you does. You know this is it, and you want to soothe with the pleasure. Say goodbye with your body. And remember the hollow of his throat, the corner of his mouth, the base of his back...
3. The first time you have sex even when you don't feel like it. Your partner has had a rotten day. He's feeling terrible about himself, he's slumped over, beaten down and far, far away. And even though you're exhausted with baby throw up on your shoulder and a pile of dishes still left from dinner, you want to make him feel good. And once you've made him feel better, his gratitude can make you feel very, VERY good.
4. The first time you wake him up for sex. It doesn't matter if it's only because you were watching Chocolat and Johnny Depp's smoky eyes and Irish brogue sent you over the edge - he's there. And warm. And stubbly.
5. The first time you have sex because you feel sexy. Is it the heels? The way your hair feels on your own neck? The way you've learned to move your hips when you slow dance? The empowerment, the recognition in his eyes is the most potent aphrodisiac.
6. The first time you have sex when you're pregnant. Of course it's weird now. You're going to be a mom - mom's don't like it on top, right? Speaking as a mom - why yes, yes they do. And your fella is so tender and nervous - it can be nice to feel treasured.
7. The first time you have sex after you give birth. Don't expect fireworks. This is strictly the first move to get you back in the saddle. I know your breasts are probably leaking milk and your body doesn't feel like yours anymore, but you need to see yourself as a sexual being again. And let him see it too.
8. Sex after someone you love has died. You need to be comforted. You need to feel good, and alive. Go right ahead.
9. Sex to say 'thank you'. Sometimes, like when he took your Grandma grocery shopping and ate her terrible cookies without saying a word, words aren't enough. Guess what really, really is?
10. The first time you have sex to try something new. In the morning light, under your thick duvet with fingers and lips finding new places in the sun. At night with no lights, against the bedroom wall because you can't make it to the bed. Just before dinner with your coats on at the door as you come home from work. In the car. Kissing in the elevator between floors. While you write on your computer....just kidding! Now go have fun.