Goodbye Again

I remember perfectly the day I left home. I was nineteen, and I was heading to Switzerland to be an au pair for a year. My parents, grandparents and my aunt and uncle all took me to the airport for the big send off, waving goodbye to their intrepid voyager. My grandparents cried, my aunt and uncle both hugged me tight (and both slipped a $20 in my pocket, woo hoo!), my step dad went quiet and a little abrupt - a telltale sign for him that things were getting mushy. And my Mom - well, she was heartbroken. I can still see her tear-stained yet somehow streak free face like it was yesterday. For my part, I cried hysterically throughout the entire seven hour flight to Zurich (other than during meal time - Swiss Air really does a lovely on-flight meal). Yes I was frightened and alone, but at the same time part of me felt strangely liberated. This was going to be my year. I was going to see things none of us had seen. Sure I didn’t speak the language, knew exactly one person in the entire country and was about to live with some strange foreign family for a year. But it felt incredibly brave to me, and I had always wanted so badly to be brave.
Now I’m back, obviously, and settled so deep into my small town that I will probably never leave. And this time it’s my Mother who will be waving goodbye. My parents are moving to California, about two hours outside San Francisco. They have lived within two hours of me my entire adult life - not to mention all of the times I’ve moved back home for a brief respite. I like to refer to that as my ‘homing pigeon’ phase. As everyone knows, having parents who live close by can sometimes feel like a mixed blessing. They’re always within shouting distance if there’s a problem which can often mean that it’s difficult to stand on your own two feet. Plus, they don’t really have to give you enough notice to clean your house before their visit, which means that they see where you live in all manners of ill-repair. And when you mess things up royally and you’d rather they didn’t know - they know. Believe me, they ALWAYS know.
But, on the whole, we’ve grown into a pretty familiar existence my parents and I. One that I’m just now realizing is going to end. Every Christmas is spent together, in their house or mine (and that’s always a tricky decision because their house is much bigger but I bring a bit of a population increase, what with the kids and the pets). Every year my Mom and I shop for back-to-school things for my sons, which invariably means that they are outfitted much better than I could ever do on my own. As my Mom says - Old Navy is where the parents have to shop, Gap is where the grandparents get to shop. She’s great for all the extras, my mom. She gets them the cool backpacks, the nicer running shoes, good jewelry (she really wants the boys to have a bit of bling, which means they all have necklaces). And I get to buy the school supplies and lunchables. Because that’s the stuff I can afford.
It’s more than the financial stuff though. My parents are often my company. When winter hits along with a major case of the doldrums, I always head to my parents house and hang out with my step dad. The great thing about him is that he allows me to be as sloth-like as I choose. We watch HGTV almost 24-7, and when we tire of that we watch romantic comedies. His favorite is the Wedding Date - pretty funny considering he’s a big macho electrician who also loves ‘the Nascar’. We eat lots of chocolate and just hang in our sweats letting the full depression of February wash over us. It may not sound fun, but it is fun. As for my Mom - she’s always with me. And she’s the only other person out there who gets jazzed to hear every single waking detail of my kid’s lives. Believe me, no one else is that interested. She likes to be here for everything - Hallowe’en, first day of school, last day of school, Christmas concerts, everything. And I am just now realizing that, as of three weeks, I’ll be doing these completely solo.
There is a plus side to their move. The kids and I are heading down there for a much-needed vacation in October, which will be wonderful. And my parents will get to explore a different part of the world, check out wine country and all of that. I suppose I’m heading into the unknown as well, a world I’ve thought I’ve been part of for a long time but am just now fully entering. The world of really doing it on my own. And I feel - brave again.
I’d love to hear from you! Email me at jrmmcguire@yahoo.ca or visit my website at jrmmcguire.blogspot.com. Cheers - and good luck Mom and Dad!