The other day I began a pros and cons list to help me decide if I do, indeed, like summer. I feel like I like summer. Every year I get pretty excited about the arrival of summer, I become full of plans and paint my toenails and such. Outings to the beach - heavenly! Picnics by the river - glorious! Warm pies cooling on the windowsill while the children paint out of doors - oh wondrous joy! And, on the pros side, I really enjoy the eating habits of summer. The little bits of this and that and everything - like potato salad, corn bread, barbeque chicken, peach pie - instead of a structured meal. Because I have recently discovered that I cannot commit to anything, even the idea of one particular meal. Plus, people tend to be drinking outside a little more, and I’m always a fan of that.
But the cons side, if I’m to be honest, is beginning to snowball on me. For instance - I am just not a gardener. Heck, I’m not even a mower of lawns. And somewhere inside me is this intrepid spirit of a gardener begging to be let loose, putting on her big floppy hat and sliding into her crocs with hedge trimmers at the ready. This gardener inside me is a bit of a nag. And has a British accent for whatever reason. She wants me to get up earlier in the morning, trim things and turn dirt and wave at the early morning joggers, sharing a smug little satisfied smile at our industrious natures. How hard could it be, she’ll ask me. Maybe it’s sort of like breastfeeding - people talk about it like it’s brain surgery, it scares you off, then you do it and it’s the most natural thing in the world. Give it a try… Unfortunately, she’s just never going to win out against the other me, the one snoring in bed and hitting the snooze button until the last possible minute. That would also be the ‘me’ who tells herself that those white lacy weeds running amok all over her yard are Mother Nature’s masterpiece. Who are we to call them weeds?
Another con - every year around this time I start to remember the promises I made to myself last year around this time, start remembering the fantasies I had about the woman I would be. In my white sundress or cute capris and t-shirt, with thinner legs, longer hair and fewer lines. And every year I realize that isn’t going to happen. I’m still the same woman who drives as far as possible down the beach so no unsuspecting onlooker will be subjected to visions of me frog jumping through the waves in my ill-fitting black maillot. Because I’m not giving up the jumping in the waves with the boys bit- that definitely goes on the pro side.
So far the heat is a pro not a con, but who knows how long that will hold out? I don’t have air conditioning but I do have nature’s A.C. - lots of trees. They still do the trick pretty nicely. But soon the trees are going to give out on me, their branches are going to start drooping and pouting in the heat. They’re going to go on strike, and that’s when the fans will come out. You start hearing about it everywhere you go - everyone is talking about opening windows in the morning, closing them mid afternoon, opening again in the evening at the right time, fans in the windows, fans on the floors, fans in the bedrooms…It’s like Morse code for the sweaty.
When it comes right down to it, my problems with summer have nothing to do with summer and everything to do with becoming aware of my shortcomings. Sticky countertops that will never get smooth, approximately 8 more fruit flies buzzing about the kitchen than are socially acceptable, not enough lessons for the kids and too much ice cream for me. Then there’s all the shaving of parts, sunburns in incredibly awkward places, messier hair than usual. People on dates who look so happy that you can’t even silently heckle them - at least in the winter they’re holed up at home by the fire, most likely snuggling in private. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But as many cons as there are, I have a good feeling they’ll never turn me completely. Especially since next year I plan to look incredible, I’m going to have lost some weight, grown my hair, I’ll have a fantastic tan….